Okay, so I love you Kevin Smith. There, I said it.
NEW: I have taken down some of what was said during the podcast, if you don’t have time to listen.
If this is truly about comfort and safety, then what about:
1) Individuals who put their seats back, encroaching in the ever-diminishing y-axis real estate? That’s not comfortable for most people over 5’10″, and for some of us can be extremely painful.
2) People who drink on flights, or take sleeping pills or other depressive medications? Certainly they might prove an obstacle to a safe exit in an emergency, etc etc.
3) Children who kick the backs of seats? That’s certainly not comfortable for the person sitting in front of them.
4) People with disabilities that may make it more difficult for them to maneuver in an emergency situation?
Additionally, the width of airline seats continues to accommodate less and less of the population. Regardless of your moral views on people who are overweight, have wide hips, broad shoulders, and other encroaching factors in the all-important horizontal direction, you aren’t going to make the population smaller with your policies of humiliation and discrimination. You should just own up to the fact that you don’t accommodate a significant fraction of the population, and have no plans to do so.
And forcing that population to buy two tickets isn’t accommodation, IMHO. It’s a penalty, and you’re only getting away with it because there are enough bigoted fat-haters to keep you in business. Perhaps, not for too much longer….?
A girl can dream.
NOTE #1: I haven’t been able to officially post this comment yet, since the site is down right now. FLOODED, people. Most comments are pro-KS. Sweet!
“I live my life fat, and I have to navigate through a thin person’s world all the time.”
“Death before discourtesy is my fucking mantra.” (I agree)
“There’s a little blonde stewardess in the doorway who lights up like Christmas when she sees me.”
“I do the scan to see where the least embarrassing place for a man of my size to plant himself…”
“Right up front of everyone, two women sitting with an empty seat between them.”
“Just as I’m reaching for my fucking seatbelt…I’m going to buckle, and all of a sudden Suzanne from up front leans down and says, ‘Oh hi, we have kind of a problem…’ — first thing comes into my head, oh my god, my mother died? … I did not, for a single second, think what was coming was coming. … So Suzanne leans down, … the Captain says the you can’t sit here. That’s what it dawns on me, and I go, ‘Oh, why?’….and she goes, ‘Oh no, it’s a, it’s a safety issue, a security measure.’ …But ma’am, I’m fine, I’m sitting down. ‘But if you can’t lower the armrests, we’re not, we can’t let you’…what she wanted to say is that you’re too fat, you need to buy two seats, but this flight is too full, so you can’t buy too seats.’ …Where we’re sitting, based on where the galley is, there’s no way the [captain] could see us. … But ma’am, the armrests — and I put the armrests both down. These ladies had them up when I sat down. And Suzanne goes… ‘Yeah, I’m sorry, really, we’ll try to make it up to you outside….’ ….I was not not fitting into the seat. …She wasn’t giving me a choice. …. My guess, it was the dude in the jetway….I think it was that dude. … This was in motion even before I even got into the plane, before a fucking phantom pilot even saw me. …All of the sudden, I was thinking, I’ve got to get up, and everyone’s going to know. Everyone’s going to know I’m too fat, or that I’m the fucking shoe bomber….what’s the safety issue? Am I going to explode like the dude in Monty Python? …Oh, I’m humiliated.”
“This is the moment where I was like, everything is going to be okay, Kevin, because ultimately it’s just going to become a story you’ll tell for the rest of your life.”
“I made perfect eye contact with a man who was far wider and fatter than me, squeezed in a middle seat…I would never throw a fellow fatty under a bus…but that dude’s eyes locked with mine had a panicked expression…I’m way fatter than him, they’re coming for the fatties, they’re coming for us to take us to Candy Land and kill us….You’re Suzanne, how fucking tripping over yourself are you to make sure I’m not crying at this point? … It was heartbreaking. I go to this desk, and the two people there are like, ‘Is Suzanne dealing with you?’ And I sit there waiting, and waiting, and waiting, for eight minutes…if I insinuated to someone that they’re too fat and eject them from the plane…you’ve got to respect me because I’m a goddamn paying customer. You never treat a paying customer like that.”
[his wife] “I think we bought TEN Southwest tickets this week. Never again.”
“Suzanne was like, ‘Boy, I’m sorry about that.’ What was the name of the pilot who said I was too fat to fly? ‘No one said that.’ Why am I here? ‘No one said you’re too fat to fly. … There’s space allotment for each seat, you took up more space than you’re allotment.’ …. That’s just bullshit PC doublespeak for you’re fat. I’m okay with that. … So I’m standing at the desk, what’s the pilots name? … I need the pilot’s name, you told me he was the dude who wanted me off. ‘That’s what I said, sir?’ …Don’t runaround, simple yes or no.”
“And you know me, I go all lawyer. And when you say something fucking ignorant, I tear it apart.”
“I don’t think the pilot said anything. I think it was the dude in the doorway, and you made a choice.”
“I don’t care. I was justified. I was righteous at this point. … Ma’am, you have to tell me why I was ejected from this flight. ‘There were safety issues.’ What does that mean? Does that mean I’m going to explode on the flight? She left then and went to get the manager…Suzanne’s ID # 84175, Captain Leysath.”
“I got fucked. Somebody fucked me. … We can offer you a $100. That’s it? This is your idea of make-good? … Get me on a helicopter home. Get me a private jet. You got me off a flight you had no right to.”
“I’m going to scorch the Earth…because that’s the only way you can deal with a moment like this. … If I had any less self esteem, I’d be crying in a closet…I’d be starting a diet tomorrow, that’s how upset I’d be. But I won’t be.”
“Fuck that noise. How dare you. You want to embarrass me? Now you’re embarrassed… if you hire a person in your organization that will do that to someone, fuck you.”
“That dude Erik [the manager] finds me. Everyone’s fucking outraged. Because most of the people in this country? Look like me. … If I’m getting bounced, anyone looks like me, or bigger, I’d be worried.”
“After about an hour of Tweeting, someone got scared shitless. …. Someone found me, and they told me, ‘I just wanted to tell you that they were wrong to take you off of that flight.’ … I’m a fat person, we navigate the world differently than other people. We have to think ten steps in advance…”
“So Erik comes out, ‘we want to make this right,’ but I was like, you can’t make this right. … Honestly, Erik, do you really think my dignity is worth $100?”
“Who sits next to me… a girl, a very, very large girl. Like me. A big girl. A solid one, very stocky. … Oh man, did they create a fat section and put me and that girl in it? …. And I see the stewardess come over to this girl, and lean down, and indicate that she should follow her. I was like, are you shitting me? Is this literally happening to someone else? I’m sitting on the window, she’s on the aisle seat, and there’s the seat between us that is already paid for. There is NO good reason whatsoever to be have the following conversation with the poor fucking sweet girl. I’m looking at this girl’s face, and I saw our daughter. … and if somebody did this to our daughter, I swear to god, I’d beat the fucking shit out of them. ….. We go the whole flight, I’m listening to iPod, going to sleep. I wake up, and at one point we’re sitting there, looking around the cabin, lock eyes, she smiles. Asks me how I’m going. … I had a fucking horrible experience, She goes, they just did something like that to me, kind of. … They pulled this poor girl aside, and they go ‘Uh, you know, you might have to buy another seat, ma’am.’ … That’s the standard operating procedure on Southwest. Build thicker seats motherfucker. This is the United Fucking States. … What fucking Southwest, what clientele are they building a fucking plane for…. they pull her aside, they weren’t nice. She said, ‘They were pretty bitchy.’ … You can tell this chick has been to fat ‘Nam. … She sits down, and the fucking stewardess pulls her out to have a fucking conversation like she was in school. … What woman says that to another woman? …. You know how hard it is to be a fat woman, and you say that to her? … Change your policy. She said, ‘You know, it’s not fair to other passengers who pay for seats, they should get all the space they deserve.’ …. And that that person who said that to her would know the flight isn’t fucking crowded, and that that seat is already paid for. …. She just sat there, and stripped her down and called her fat without ever saying the word. … It’s bullshit, hiding behind fucking language foibles. …. But saying [the girl is too fat] when she knew the flight is not packed, and that the aisle she’s chosen, there’s a seat between us … she’s saying, ‘I can still put the armrest down.’ … My heart broke for her. That’s when I lost it. … Once I talked to that woman, now I’m on a mission. I hope they change their policy. … Something gotta change. But maybe it’s as simple as vote with your wallet, cats. …. Before I met that girl and heard her story, I was just like ‘Fuck ‘em.’ … But that was it. When I heard that fucking story, something happened to somebody else in the span of two fucking hours, I was like fuck ‘em. … Southwest — of course they’re trying to placate me, because I spent an hour dragging their name through the fucking shit. … Fuck you, I don’t want a voucher. I want them to change the goddamn policy… do you know how much it sucks to be fat? For people who don’t have what I have? I can fall back on ‘I can do this,’ … It all probably came from being fat, trying to justify myself, try to make myself be normal. … Don’t feel bad for me. I’m one of the few fat guys sitting on top of it all, going Bwahahah, finally one for us … I remember what it was like being fat before I got famous. You don’t get a second thought. People treat you like fucking shit. You’re barely fucking human to some people….This poor girl, her whole life was printed across her face and my heart fucking broke. … This wasn’t done for this woman’s benefit. …. Societally, I don’t pay much for being fat, the price you pay for being fat …. There’s no reason in this beautiful world to make that person’s burden any worse. …. This was a grown woman pulling another grown woman aside and emasculating her (do you need a dick to be emasculated?).”