Magically Thin!

There is an oft-repeated anti-fat trope which runs along the lines of:

“Well, if there was some magical way for you [fatty] to get thin that didn’t require diet/exercise/surgical mutilation/etc, you’d do it.”

Frankly, if there were such magical powers in our great ‘Verse, I wouldn’t waste them on becoming thin. If one could say, wake up the next morning and have some kind of new magical body part or body alteration, think of the possibilities! It’s magic. One could wish for:

  1. The ability to breathe fire / ice at will
  2. A dragon tail
  3. A unicorn horn
  4. Wings (working, of course)
  5. Knuckle knives a la Wolverine / Edward Scissorhands
  6. Laserbeams out of eyes
  7. Lightning bolts out of fingers
  8. Perfect pitch
  9. Horse-body (centaur)
  10. And so on….

What about you? What kind of magical body parts/abilities would you take over being magically thin?

About these ads

13 comments on “Magically Thin!

  1. vesta44 says:

    I would definitely rather be a humanoid/bipedal cat-person than be thin. Think of all the things one could do as a cat – hell, even fat cats have gymnastic abilities (I’ve wanted to be one of those ever since I read about a race of them in a book by E. E. “Doc” Smith, oh, almost 40 years ago).

  2. happybodies says:

    gills. obvi.

  3. Fat Academic says:

    I would want the ability to freeze everyone in the moment (except me),
    to be able to remember EVERYTHING I read and to be able to have my thoughts magically appear on my computer screen so I didnt have to be bothered typing them lol.

    Bri

  4. bigliberty says:

    Bri, good one. I’d love a direct brain-to-computer connection, so I could write faster.

  5. vitty10 says:

    Invisibility. And super-speed.

  6. CTJen says:

    ooh! Um, I’ll start with

    the ability to teleport anywhere in time and space at will
    and gills, of course

    Yeah, magical “thinness” would be pretty far down on the list and would fall under the shape-shifter category. Even then, I rather be a tiger or an eagle or something really cool.

  7. Miriam Heddy says:

    I’m definitely going with CTJen and voting for teleportation, ideally with the ability to bring along passengers. I also want a cape.

  8. bigliberty says:

    I think we should all get capes, regardless. Super Fatties!! :D

  9. jeanc38 says:

    I would go for shapeshifting abilities and teleportation. I would LOVE to spend the day as a cat when I want to just get away from it all :D

    Being able to teleport would be nice, save on gas having to go back and forth from home to work and back and if I felt like it, zap myself and hubby to any place in the world for a little sightseeing and some seriously good food!

  10. Heidi says:

    Okay, so, I probably would choose to be thin, if I had all the power in the world to do so. By “thin” I mean a size 12/14, because then, dude, I could shop in most stores and find something to fit me, even if it didn’t look perfect on my body.

    BUT…if I could only choose one miraculous thing to have happen? I’d have my hair back. I hate what PCOS/hypothyroidism have done to it. I used to have beautiful thick, marvelous long hair and I would take that in a heartbeat over being thin.

  11. lifeonfats says:

    I want the ability to control the weather and the power to render MeMe Roth mute.

  12. richie79 says:

    I would like to be able to draw incessant chronic pain out of sweet people who don’t deserve to suffer it everyday, and give it (even if only temporarily, and just to remind them that karma is a bitch) to others who are spiteful, mean, bigoted, small-minded or take advantage or revel in the misery of others (yes, I’ve thought about this one!).

    Failing that, the ability to teleport anywhere in the world by simply imagining it would be convenient as hell. Let’s see Southworst survive THAT!

  13. nycivan says:

    I would so want to be able to make anyone who has a fat hating thought gain 50 pounds every time they thought something that was fat hating. 100 pounds for every time they said something fat hating. Of course I’d want each of them to be completely healthy as most of them would weigh 1100 pounds in very short order. Oh they wouldn’t be able to kill themselves even if they tried. The moment they got the cruelty and hatefullness of their fat hatred, the weight would come off but would come right back on the moment they forgot.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s