Poem written in segments over a period of several months. Please check out the Invisiphilia category tag for the originals. Keep checking back for updates, as I plan to keep adding for the indefinite future.
PART ONE: CONCEPTION
A happy day, three weeks after
the night you were conceived.
But Doctor wasn’t too impressed
with what your Mom achieved.
“You shouldn’t gain an ounce,” he said.
“Perhaps, should lose a few!”
All told in order to prevent
the birth of a fat you.
PART TWO: INFANCY
They never told the neighbors that
they cut your milk in half;
drawn colored dots up on the wall—
your hunger on a graph.
And when you screamed your emptiness
they shrugged and found the scale—
nope, still too heavy; so they placed
you in your crib to wail.
PART THREE: SCHOOL
She is the fastest reader, and
her math is years ahead—
she sings, and plays, and draws, and writes;
lies dreaming on her bed.
But no one sees the little girl
as reader, writer, voice;
instead, the product of a vice,
and victim of a choice.
PART 4: CAMP
I wonder what the other kids
are doing on their break—
Learning to count calories, shun
pasta, meat, and cake?
Learning how to deal with hunger
(biting sharp like knives)?
Running laps until they vomit—
—running for their lives?
PART 5: SELF
Not until you’re thin as Amber,
lithe as Julia;
not until you’re Michelle-skinny,
graceful as Anna.
Not until that perfect ten,
that Nicole (she’s so hot).
Not until you’ve lost that ten, not
til you’re weightless (not).
PART 6: HOLIDAYS
Christmas came, a riot of our
happy memories.
Brother got a camera, and I
got some new CDs.
Daddy got a diet, and I
got a diet too—
“Do it just like this and they will
want to look like you!
Talent gets you far but it can’t
win you true success;
Riches, friends, and fam’lies grow
the smaller your dress gets.
Don’t you want to see the sun stream
right between your thighs?”
…I didn’t, in particular.
But—
If I’m skinny, maybe he will
hear me when I sing;
If I’m skinny, maybe he will
want the love I bring;
If I’m skinny, maybe he won’t
leave before I’m grown—
I got skinny. Daddy moved down
south to his new home.
PART 7: PINK ELEPHANTS
Poppin poppin poppin diet
pills into her mouth;
rockin rockin rockin hunger
killed and food thrown out.
Shoppin at the coolest stores,
short skirts, tight tights, and—shout!
Hoppin hoppin hoppin boys are
gawkin, music’s poppin, she is
shrinking, finally they
all can see her—
PART 8: IDEAL
A business suit and shapely legs
In Yale’s echoing hall
Sits, scissored legs crossed at the knee,
the envy of them all.
The women want to be like her,
the men hang on her words.
“You know that she could win it all,”
is whispered ‘mongst the herds.
But by the second day, she’s done—
She’s lost her zest and steam.
She cannot hear the things they say,
like music in a dream.
Instead her clouded head is stuck
in hunger, anger, violence.
Someone else will win the gavel—
served up by her silence.
PART 9: TO WRITE
The words rang clear, the characters
were vivid, timeless, true;
the hero was insightful, and
the plot was fresh and new.
But lo! What’s this? the author’s pic
is full of round and curve.
Suddenly the text felt flat: the
words had lost their verve.
…Powerful..! I’m nearly speechless (and that doesn’t happen often). For different reasons I *was* usually a pariah during my formative years. This article deserves the respect of a better reply than this, but deserves as well the respect of not passing un-commented-on. Very best regards.